Mothers' Day...but even more. The Presbyterian Calendar
says that today is also Christian Family Sunday, not an easy
subject to deal with these days. As George Burns once quipped,
"Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit
family...in another city." We know what he means.
We know that the family has changed a great deal. The old
"Ozzie & Harriet" model of Dad going off to work, Mom staying
home and waiting for the kids to return from school is now just a
black-and-white piece of nostalgia - only a tiny percentage of
America's families fit that picture; most do not. An elderly
doctor listened to a woman complain about the disappearance of
the old-fashioned family doctor. Finally he lost patience and
replied, "Madam, if you will show me an old-fashioned family, I
will produce a doctor for it."
The American family these days could surely use a doctor, or
SOMEONE to provide some healing. In preparation for this
morning's message, I reread a sermon by that great English
preacher of the past generation, Leslie Weatherhead. In a
message called "What is God's Plan for the Family,"(1) delivered
shortly after World War II, I was intrigued to note Weatherhead's
despair over a report from the Marriage Guidance Council in June,
1945 reporting that TEN PERCENT of marriages were finishing in
the divorce court and that the figure would be TWENTY percent if
separations were included. Talk about the "good old days." We
know that ONE-HALF of the 2.4-million-or-so marriages to be
performed in our nation this year will end in divorce. Some 25
percent of Anglo children, 35 percent of Latino children, and 60
percent of African-American children are being raised by single
parents.(2) The modern family DOES need help.
People do not even agree on what constitutes a family
anymore. Sometime back a national insurance company requested
that 1200 randomly selected adults define the word `family.'
Surprisingly, only a small number, 22%, opted for the traditional
definition: `a group of people related by blood, marriage, or
adoption.' A much larger percentage, nearly 3/4, chose a much
broader definition: `a group of people who love and care for each
other.'"(3) If people are not even certain what a family IS
anymore, what does one say about Christian Family Sunday?
Perhaps the best thing to do is to see what the Bible says about
the Christian family, and then discover what that might mean for
you and me.
The first thing to note is that a really "Christian Family"
has nothing to do with blood or marriage. The "Christian Family"
is one in which the members are related to Christ, just as the
Leininger family is one in which the members are related to me.
The true Christian Family is the church.
Our lesson from Ephesians makes that clear. Back in the
early days of the faith, there was a serious problem concerning
the understanding of who "qualified" to be a part of God's
family. The issue then was both blood AND marriage - racism -
Jew versus Gentile. As bad as racial division has been and
remains in modern society, it was even worse back then. The
apostle Paul realized the disastrous consequences of such an
attitude, so he wrote to clear up any misunderstanding.
He began by noting the estrangement Gentiles had previously
experienced. After all, a good Jew believed "that the Gentiles
were created by God to be fuel for the fires of Hell; that God
loved only Israel of all the nations that had been made...It was
not even lawful for a Jew to render help to a Gentile woman in
childbirth for that would be to help bring another Gentile into
the world...If a Jew married a Gentile, the funeral of that Jew
was carried out...Even to go into a Gentile house rendered a Jew
unclean."(4) Paul knew all this.
He also knew the absolute segregation between Jew and
Gentile in worship; he knew "the dividing wall," as he called it,
the barrier in the Temple court, beyond which no Gentile was
permitted upon pain of death. In fact, he himself was finally
imprisoned and killed after being wrongly accused of bringing the
Gentile Trophimus beyond the barrier.(5) But this good Jew was
able to see beyond his tradition and write to the Gentile
Christians in Ephesus, "you are no longer foreigners and aliens,
but fellow citizens with God's people and members of God's
household." You are family! It was an amazing statement.
Jesus had said as much years before. He said that all who
believed were in his family: they were his brothers, his sisters,
his mother.(6) The only thing that followers of Christ were to see
in one another was that here was a person who was related to
Jesus - FAMILY! We need that reminder.
Think of it this way. Are you a child of God? Then every
other child of God is your brother or sister, your family. Look
around you. The Bible says that, if you are a Christian, these
are your family. There are some wonderful folks here, people to
whom you would be proud to be related - yes, a few of us are
eccentric, but every family has them. That's all right. As we
all know, we can choose our friends but we are stuck with our
relatives. Just as in the family into which we were born, we are
not free to say who should or should not belong. We are in this
together, for good or ill.
What does that mean for us at First Presbyterian? Well,
being a member of any family brings with it both privileges and
responsibilities. Just as in the home, there are dishes to be
washed, grass to be cut, errands to be run - there is work to do.
But it is not ALL work - there are ears to listen, tears wiped,
hugs given, hurts bandaged. I could not begin to tell you how
often I have heard someone say that they would never have been
able to survive a particularly trying period without the love and
support of their Christian family in the church.
Because we are a Christian congregation in 2003, there is
one huge challenge (which requires three responses) to our living
as FAMILY. The challenge centers on the fact that we are a
mobile society. Many of you were raised together; many of you
were not. Even though Warren is an incredibly stable community,
it is not as stable as it once was. We do not all come from
here. We did not all go to the same schools, shop at the same
stores, or root for the same teams. That means we do not KNOW
one another as we would if our modern society were different.
For us, the first response to the challenge is to take extra
initiative in simply becoming acquainted. That is one of the
reasons we wear nametags.
For those of you who know plenty of folks around here, seek
out one more...and then one more, and then one more after that.
Many people have great difficulty in making new friends. Those
of you who find it easy need to go out of your way to help them.
For those who do not have enough "Christian Family" here, give
yourself more opportunities to become acquainted than just at the
beginning or end of worship - that will never do the job. Join a
Sunday School class (we have them for all ages and interests),
join a choir, golf, come on Wednesday nights, become a part of
Presbyterian Women - there are loads of opportunities - take
advantage of what is already available! As has been said, if you
want to HAVE a friend, you must first BE a friend.
I read once of a man who failed to remove his hat when he
entered a church. He was presently sighted by a horrified usher,
who quietly drew the man's attention to his apparent
forgetfulness. The man explained that he had been worshiping in
that church for three years, without anyone speaking to him, and
he thought the hat might do the trick.(7) From what you tell me,
that may well have happened here in years past, but not recently,
thank goodness - in fact, we all know that this is genuinely one
of the friendliest congregations anywhere, and I am incredibly
proud to be your pastor. But we can always do better. Our first
response to the challenge is to seek out those whom we do not
know with the intention of paraphrasing the apostle Paul's words,
"you are no longer a stranger to me, but you are `Christian
Family,' my brother or sister in Jesus Christ, a member of the
household of God."
The second response to the challenge has to do with our
getting to know our young people. They are a part of the family,
and a particularly vulnerable part. Yes, we live in a mobile
society, and our kids travel with us. That means their roots are
not as deep as they might have been in previous generations. For
youngsters who are at a vulnerable age as they begin to find
their way in the world, the problem is exacerbated.
You have heard that ancient Chinese curse, "May you have an
interesting life." Well, our youngsters these days are surely
being treated to an "interesting life" - drugs, alcohol, sex,
incredible peer pressure. If we can help them make their lives a
little less "interesting" by providing new roots, new
friendships, we should. Horace Bushnell is reported to have said
that the influence of the family is so strong that we never quite
get the smell of our childhood home out of our clothes.(8) The
same can be said of the "smell" of Christian family during our
youth. What we do or fail to do for our youth at this stage of
their "interesting" journey may well determine their relationship
with the Lord and the church for the rest of their lives. They
need us, and we need them. After all, they are a part of our
Christian family.
The third response to the challenge is to develop a
relationship with the children of the church. When we welcome
them in baptism we affirm that they are our family too. Parents
stand before us and the Lord and promise to raise their child in
"the knowledge and love of God." You vow, "We will help." Then
in an act that is fraught with symbolism, the loving mother and
father hand that new life over - they give the baby to the
minister as the representative of the Christian community and, in
so doing, say that this child, from the moment those sacred
waters dribble down that tiny forehead, has a new and larger
family - the family of God.
Now, I know that some folks, once their own child-rearing
days are over, would rather not have that responsibility. In
fact, if you can believe it, when I was serving in South Florida
among a disproportionately large number of retirees, there were
actually some who LEFT the church I served because they could no
longer abide little children, even for five minutes during the
Moment with the Young Disciples. They reminded me of English
essayist Charles Lamb who was once asked by a woman, "Mr. Lamb,
how do you like babies?" He replied with his usual stammer, "B-b-boiled, Ma'am."(9) To those who refused to follow through on the
vows they took as church members to "guide and nurture these
children by word and deed, with love and prayer, encouraging them
to know and follow Christ and to be faithful members of his
church," my response was effectively, "Don't let the door hit you
on the way out!"
Anthropologist Mary Catherine Bateson insists that "it is
not old-fashioned to think about...concern for children as a
central ethical issue, even for those who do not have children
themselves. In this period of history...all of us who...want to
be responsible to the future need to be sure that we have a
relationship with at least one, real flesh-and-blood child."(10)
We have lots of children at First Pres. Take the time to get to
know them - they are a JOY!
I can promise you it will be fun. One Sunday School teacher
was teaching her young charges about the ancient error of making
idols and was having her pupils finish each sentence to show that
they understood her. "The idol had eyes," she said, "but could
not..." "SEE," cried the children. "It had ears but it could
not..." "HEAR," was the answer. "It had lips, but it could
not..." "SPEAK," they responded. "It had a nose but it could
not..." "WIPE IT," shouted the children. Fun. But families
SHOULD have fun, shouldn't they?
The Christian Family - the Family of God. I wish I could
say that, once the family feeling is established, all will be
peaches and cream, but we know that is not true. There are
sometimes family feuds - not nice, but that is real life. There
are idiots in the family, but all families have them. Some will
occasionally be angry at this or that decision - it is the same
in any household. Some will end up doing a disproportionate
amount of the work because someone else has dropped the ball.
(Sound familiar, Mom?) The one difference between the family
that lives under THIS roof and the one that lives under yours and
mine is that the Head of the Household is the God of the entire
universe who one day will welcome us all to a brand new heavenly
home.
Christian Family Sunday. A day of celebration - a
celebration of the word the Apostle spoke so many centuries ago,
that word that breaks down the barriers that isolate us from one
another, that word that says we need never be alone again: "You
are no longer foreigners and aliens, but fellow citizens with
God's people and members of God's household." You are family!
Amen!
1. In When the Lamp Flickers, (Nashville: Abingdon, 1948), p. 128
2. http://www.dbu.edu/jeanhumphreys/juvenile/7family.htm
3. Quoted by Elizabeth McGregor Simmons, "Preaching on Christian Family Sunday,
Journal for Preachers, Easter, 1990, p. 25
4. William Barclay, The Letters to the Galatians and Ephesians, Revised Edition, Daily
Study Bible Series, (Philadelphia: Westminster, 1976), p. 107
5. Acts 21:28-29
6. Mark 3:33-35
7. Maxwell Droke, Ed., Anthology of Anecdotes, (Indianapolis, Droke House, 1948), p.
182
8. Simmons, p. 28
9. Clifton Fadiman, Gen, Ed., Little, Brown Book of Anecdotes, (Boston: Little, Brown &
Co., 1985), p. 341
10. Quoted by Simmons, p. 27
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